Reflecting on a man named Leroy

The Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes has much to say about the every day and at the same time remind us of God, our Creator and Sustainer.  This is where I began when reflecting on Leroy and the scope of his almost 80 years of life and specifically the 18 months he lived at the nursing home.

"..A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work.  This too, is from the Hand of God for without Him, who can eat or find enjoyment?....There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven:
A time to be born, a time to die;
A time to plant and a time to uproot;
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build;
A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance;
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them;
A time to embrace and a time to refrain;
A time to tear and a time to mend;
A time to be silent and a time to speak;
A time to love and a time to hate;
A time for war and a time for peace....
God has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.  I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.  That everyone may eat and drink and find satisfaction in all his toil -- this is a gift from God."

Leroy will always be a witness to me of faith in God.  Leroy came to our nursing home family in January of 1995.  He wasn't the shy, retiring type and it didn't take long for every staff member to become a part of Leroy's life. Leroy was accustomed to creating the direction of his life around him.  He had made decisions.  He had worked hard.  He was his own man just like the Ecclesiates' verses talk of -- a man who finds satisfaction in his work.  Leroy's stroke and health problems were not part of Leroy's overall plan.  I don't even believe they were a part of God's plan, but our Lord's Presence never left Leroy.  Leroy was not alone.

Leroy gave a vivid example of storming the gates of heaven.  In his pain and inability to live his life as he had, Leroy just wanted to go home.  To go to God.  To be released.  For as much as Leroy was a decision maker and hard worker, he still knew who was in charge. God.  God was in charge so Leroy daily plead his case before the Almighty.

Leroy wasn't afraid to die.  Leroy fretted more about living than dying.  Leroy wasn't afraid because he knew the future would continue with God in heaven .  A heavenly future is a little unknown, but Leroy's faith -- a faith that said 'I Trust,' wasn't worried or concerned with the unknown.  Leroy knew Jesus.  He believed in Jesus.  He trusted Jesus.   Leroy's faith was simple and uncomplicated.  Believe.  Jesus is Who He says He is.  The Bible tells us so.  Believe.  No great theological essays, no deep probing analytical thesis, just believe.  And if you believe, then trust.  It is that simple.

"..there is a time to mourn, and there is a time to dance."  Somehow I feel that Leroy would want to see us humming along and tapping our toes.  

To the family of Leroy, may God bless you, comfort you and release you from grief so that you may continue your dance of life, now and forever more.  Amen.

(August 1996)

A short stay, but a big witness - Donny

When people become ill and find themselves in need of extra care, the staff of a nursing home can often lovingly supply that need.  Sometimes care is needed for a good length of time.  Sometimes the number of days are short.  Donny came to the nursing home for just a few months, but his short stay was a big witness of God's care through love of family.

"The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh.  Blessed be the Name of the Lord."  (Job 1:21b)  Job of the Old Testament makes this confident confession of trust in God in the face of grief.  "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh, blessed be the Name of the Lord."

How thankful our nursing home staff and residents are that the Lord gives and that He gave the gift of life to Donny to this world.  Donny was a joyous blessing to us.  His warm smile, easy laugh and engaging conversations of farming, hunting and family are his legacy.

And now, the Lord has taken away.  He has taken Donny from this world and unto Himself.  With the hope and promise of eternity, we who mourn Donny's death can echo Job's sentiments by praising the Name of the Lord.

Thank You, Lord, for the gift of life in this world and thank You also for eternal life.  Continue to care for Donny.  Keep him safe.  Wrap him in Your eternal arms of love.  Comfort us who mourn.  Blessed be the Name of the Lord, now and forevermore.  Amen.

(July 1996)

Del - A Story of Thankfulness

In July of 1996 it was my privilege and honor to be included in the funeral service of 90-year-old woman named Delma, or "Del" for short.  Not only had she been a resident of the nursing home where I served as Chaplain, but Del was also a member of my home church.  She was one of the graciously kind church ladies who had welcomed me as a young bride into the fold of the church family and patiently taught me how to serve Sunday morning coffee (not so much my gift) and encouraged me to lead Bible Studies (more my gift than being in the kitchen!)  

Del was all of five feet tall with a heart that filled every inch of her being.  Though Del and her husband were not blessed with children of their own, Del found her calling in serving in the school library where children abounded!  I felt it was only fitting to design Del's eulogy in the form of a story book.  It began, as all good stories begin:

Once upon a time, 
God made the world a gift.    The world called her "Del."
Del was blessed with a heart of kindness, a mind of goodness and hands of service.  

Del's hands were special.  Del's hands were always moving.  Her hands baked pies and cakes, planted gardens, cut quilt squares and sewed, washed dishes and held other hands.  Del's hands seemed to always be busy and yet there was one very special task that Del's hands did and did very well.  It was her calling from God:  Del's hands held books.

Del worked in a big room full of books called a library and every day at work, she held books for the children.  For the little children, her hands showed them how to gently turn the pages and discover the wonder of reading.  For bigger children, Del's fingers would dance along the bindings as she pointed out adventures, romances and mysteries.  And the children loved Del for her hands and for her love of books.

One day Del got old and she was alone.  She went to live in a special home where she found herself in the company of a new family.  There Del was surrounded by caring hands of others now that her hands were becoming stiff.  Still, Del shared her hands.

In the morning, Del would help fold the warm clothes from the laundry.  She especially liked the soft washcloths and towels.  On Tuesdays she moved the Bingo pieces just for the fun of it.  Often she folded her hands in prayer in the chapel during worship to give thanks to God for blessing her so richly.  And just last Halloween, Del's hands made children happy again as she handed out candy.  The smile on Del's face was from the squeals of delight as the trick and treater children recognized Del and exclaimed, "It's the Library Lady!"

It was the Chaplain's last visit with Del.  Small and frail, Del was at peace.  Her eyes, soft and kind, matched her voice as she recited with the Chaplain the words of the 23rd Psalm that are found in the book that Del knew so well.  Her hands  -- one last time -- slowly crept out from under the blanket to hold the hand of the Chaplain.  "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."  

Rest in peace, Dear Del.  Rest securely in the Hands of Almighty God...now and forevermore.  Amen.

The Only Enoch I Have Ever Known (1996)

A reading from Genesis 5:22-24:  "...and after Enoch became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters.  Altogether, Enoch lived 365 years.  Enoch walked with God' then he was no more, because God took him away."

The Enoch we read about in the Bible and the Enoch that lived and worked in our community aren't the same, and yet there are many similarities.  Both lived a good many years.  Both were family men.  Both walked with God while they lived on earth and both continue to walk with God as they live forevermore.

In this world of work and schedules, walking with God can become secondary.  But our Enoch chose long ago to make God and His goodness a part of every day life.  In that way, God's presence of love and kindness would never be put on a shelf.  Enoch could practice it every day and indeed, he did!  The love for his wife and his children was very evident.  As his family grew to include in-laws and then grandchildren, Enoch recognized each as a gift from God.

Then Enoch came to share his life with the nursing home family.  The nursing home staff and residents were immediately taken with the kindness of Enoch and the laughter and smiles he so freely shared.  The way Enoch shared the presence of God through kind words, smiles and gentle teasings was and will always be a vivid example of the love of God.

Walk on, Dear Enoch, walk on with the God Who loves you, Who created you and Who insists you spend all eternity with Him.  Walk on...now and forevermore.  Amen.

Mabel: A Living Story of Love Never Ending

A reading from 1 Corinthians 13:  "Love is patient.  Love is kind.  It does not envy.  It does not boast.  It is not proud.  Love is not rude, nor is it self-seeking.  Love is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails..."

A person could easily reread those verses and substitute "Mabel" in for "love."  

Mabel, Mabel, Mabel....a beautiful woman inside and out.

...a child of God.

...a mixture of smiles and determination.

...a witness of faith in trying times.

Mabel, Mabel, Mabel.

When Mabel first came to the nursing home, Mabel was known to say "I can go anytime"  or "I'm not sure why I am still here."  

The staff of the nursing home responded:

Mabel, you are here to encourage others with your smiles.

Mabel, you are here to fill the day with laughter, with your sense of humor.

Mabel, you are here to remind us that we need to live each day as we are given.

Mabel, you are here to decorate this place with your festive sweatshirts!

Mabel, you are here to keep the authors of country western literature in business! (Mabel was a voracious reader.)

We could all speculate plausible and wonderful reasons why Mabel was here, but the bottom line was:

God created Mabel for love in the world.

to love...

to be loved...

to share love...

to offer love...

And that was Mabel, a living example of the grace and mercy of God, a wonderful gift of love.

Thank You, God, for the gift of Mabel.

Thank you, Mabel, for sharing God's gift of love with us,

now and forevermore, Amen.

(July, 1996)

My Very First Funeral Message (1995), Her Name was Marie

Marie's Funeral Message

Marie's Bible Verse:  Psalm 25: 1-7
"To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul; 
In You I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one whose hope is in You will ever be put to shame...
Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths;
Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior,
and my hope is in You all day long.
Remember, O Lord, Your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.
Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways;
According to Your love remember me, for You are good, O Lord."

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.  Grace and peace.

When I meet a person, my first thought is a question..."How has God gifted and blessed this person?"  And, then a second question follows, "What can I learn about God from this person?"

When I first met Marie, I was immediately taken with her independence and her resolve to rise above physical limitations.  As we visited and I got to know more of Marie, it was obvious to me that this woman was one who God delighted in!  She enjoyed life.  She wasn't one to flinch from hardship or challenges.  She dug in and took part in life around her.  Cooking for the jail, having a family, attending sporting events, supporting community events, getting a pilot's license, traveling....all these accomplishments and more told me that she was a person who lived each day to the fullest.

Not every day was great for Marie.  Since her health failed, Marie withstood constant pain.  Her physical limitations were an every day reminder that life for Marie had changed.  Family was important, yet many were scattered and her life partner was gone.  Life was complicated.  Life wasn't easy.

And yet Marie continued.  She continued to do what she could.  She continued to live each day.  Some days were frustrating and she cried out to God for release.  And as I watched Marie, I learned that God's timing is often not our own.  I learned that God's plans will be fulfilled within His own time.  I also saw that God does not desert His people and that He did not desert or abandon Marie.

God was real to Marie.  I saw that.  Jesus said, "In this world you will have trials and tribulations, but be of good cheer!  I have overcome the world!" (John 16:33)  And truly Jesus has overcome the world!  And now, He has overcome the struggles of Marie and taken her to Himself.

My prayers are with the family of Marie.  My prayer is that our Risen Lord Jesus Christ will surround each member with His comfort and love....that Jesus will hold each securely in His arms where they can be held and carried with the surety of His continued care.

May our God continue to care for Marie.  May He also bless our memories and encourage us in our walk as we journey through this life,

Now and forevermore,
Amen.

(September 1995)

Beginning Again!

Well, it's been over a year since I posted my last blog.  And, even though I enjoy blogging (rambling on as it were,) I felt like I needed a little more structure, maybe a clearly defined purpose for committing to a blog.  

My ultimate goal is to lift up the gift of faith as received by Jesus, the Risen Lord and Savior, Who graciously and freely invites all to draw near and fellowship with Him.  He came not to condemn, but to create relationships and connections and bring about newness of life.  

It's all good.  Truly.  It is all good this life Jesus offers to one and all.  

As I reflected about His love and life, I realized how many times I have seen His love and His life in other people - especially the residents and staff at the nursing home that I served for 19 years as chaplain.   

Today, when I have an opportunity to encourage someone who is facing similar circumstances, such as caring for a loved one who is challenged with health issues or being given a diagnosis themselves of a disease or condition that is life changing, I feel that familiar tug of the Spirit that reminds me Jesus is present.  Jesus is near.  Jesus is an abiding God, not an abandoning god.  He isn't a "fair weather" Friend.  He is Emmanuel, God With Us.  Jesus is literally Good News!  

Now the question becomes how to share that Good News?  

My thoughts are drawn to the many funeral messages I had shared with families over my years of active chaplaincy.  At those times of being gathered to support and care for one another, I prayed to be able to deliver an uplifting message of comfort and hope even though we were saying goodbye to a loved one and in the throes of grief. 

Writing a funeral message was something new for me when I began ministering at the nursing home.  I began with great fear and trepidation.  In the beginning my knees literally shook as I presided over funeral and memorial services. It took about 100 times before I truly began to embrace fully this calling.  My knees were still shaky, but I began to develop a clear sense of end-of-life care and what is needed.

Simply put, what is needed at end of life is presence.  Being present to the one completing his or her life.  Being present to the family members.  Being present to the staff who continue to give care.  Being present to the community.  Holding a hand.  Saying a prayer.  Sharing a humorous memory.  Cooling a brow.  Helping to adjust a position.  Creating space for family and friends to say their goodbyes.  Saying the name of the person journeying on.  Remembering the life.  Celebrating the gift that they were in life and celebrating the gift they continue to be as they live in the memories of loved ones.

In all of that - remembering, celebrating, being present, caring, hoping, crying, grieving - Jesus remains constant.  Our abiding God does what He does best - He abides. 

So my decision now is to blog the many funeral messages that I shared with families over the 19 years of my active ministry.  I will be using first names only and editing the messages a bit so that I can stay true to the purpose of giving Glory to God for the life that was lived.  

My prayer is that you will find a way to relate to this person and the life that was lived, and more importantly, that you will see Jesus and hear His open invitation to draw near and know personally the love He has for you and the life He has come to freely give you.  

And, yup, it's good.  It is all good.