Del - A Story of Thankfulness

In July of 1996 it was my privilege and honor to be included in the funeral service of 90-year-old woman named Delma, or "Del" for short.  Not only had she been a resident of the nursing home where I served as Chaplain, but Del was also a member of my home church.  She was one of the graciously kind church ladies who had welcomed me as a young bride into the fold of the church family and patiently taught me how to serve Sunday morning coffee (not so much my gift) and encouraged me to lead Bible Studies (more my gift than being in the kitchen!)  

Del was all of five feet tall with a heart that filled every inch of her being.  Though Del and her husband were not blessed with children of their own, Del found her calling in serving in the school library where children abounded!  I felt it was only fitting to design Del's eulogy in the form of a story book.  It began, as all good stories begin:

Once upon a time, 
God made the world a gift.    The world called her "Del."
Del was blessed with a heart of kindness, a mind of goodness and hands of service.  

Del's hands were special.  Del's hands were always moving.  Her hands baked pies and cakes, planted gardens, cut quilt squares and sewed, washed dishes and held other hands.  Del's hands seemed to always be busy and yet there was one very special task that Del's hands did and did very well.  It was her calling from God:  Del's hands held books.

Del worked in a big room full of books called a library and every day at work, she held books for the children.  For the little children, her hands showed them how to gently turn the pages and discover the wonder of reading.  For bigger children, Del's fingers would dance along the bindings as she pointed out adventures, romances and mysteries.  And the children loved Del for her hands and for her love of books.

One day Del got old and she was alone.  She went to live in a special home where she found herself in the company of a new family.  There Del was surrounded by caring hands of others now that her hands were becoming stiff.  Still, Del shared her hands.

In the morning, Del would help fold the warm clothes from the laundry.  She especially liked the soft washcloths and towels.  On Tuesdays she moved the Bingo pieces just for the fun of it.  Often she folded her hands in prayer in the chapel during worship to give thanks to God for blessing her so richly.  And just last Halloween, Del's hands made children happy again as she handed out candy.  The smile on Del's face was from the squeals of delight as the trick and treater children recognized Del and exclaimed, "It's the Library Lady!"

It was the Chaplain's last visit with Del.  Small and frail, Del was at peace.  Her eyes, soft and kind, matched her voice as she recited with the Chaplain the words of the 23rd Psalm that are found in the book that Del knew so well.  Her hands  -- one last time -- slowly crept out from under the blanket to hold the hand of the Chaplain.  "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever."  

Rest in peace, Dear Del.  Rest securely in the Hands of Almighty God...now and forevermore.  Amen.

The Only Enoch I Have Ever Known (1996)

A reading from Genesis 5:22-24:  "...and after Enoch became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters.  Altogether, Enoch lived 365 years.  Enoch walked with God' then he was no more, because God took him away."

The Enoch we read about in the Bible and the Enoch that lived and worked in our community aren't the same, and yet there are many similarities.  Both lived a good many years.  Both were family men.  Both walked with God while they lived on earth and both continue to walk with God as they live forevermore.

In this world of work and schedules, walking with God can become secondary.  But our Enoch chose long ago to make God and His goodness a part of every day life.  In that way, God's presence of love and kindness would never be put on a shelf.  Enoch could practice it every day and indeed, he did!  The love for his wife and his children was very evident.  As his family grew to include in-laws and then grandchildren, Enoch recognized each as a gift from God.

Then Enoch came to share his life with the nursing home family.  The nursing home staff and residents were immediately taken with the kindness of Enoch and the laughter and smiles he so freely shared.  The way Enoch shared the presence of God through kind words, smiles and gentle teasings was and will always be a vivid example of the love of God.

Walk on, Dear Enoch, walk on with the God Who loves you, Who created you and Who insists you spend all eternity with Him.  Walk on...now and forevermore.  Amen.

Mabel: A Living Story of Love Never Ending

A reading from 1 Corinthians 13:  "Love is patient.  Love is kind.  It does not envy.  It does not boast.  It is not proud.  Love is not rude, nor is it self-seeking.  Love is not easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails..."

A person could easily reread those verses and substitute "Mabel" in for "love."  

Mabel, Mabel, Mabel....a beautiful woman inside and out.

...a child of God.

...a mixture of smiles and determination.

...a witness of faith in trying times.

Mabel, Mabel, Mabel.

When Mabel first came to the nursing home, Mabel was known to say "I can go anytime"  or "I'm not sure why I am still here."  

The staff of the nursing home responded:

Mabel, you are here to encourage others with your smiles.

Mabel, you are here to fill the day with laughter, with your sense of humor.

Mabel, you are here to remind us that we need to live each day as we are given.

Mabel, you are here to decorate this place with your festive sweatshirts!

Mabel, you are here to keep the authors of country western literature in business! (Mabel was a voracious reader.)

We could all speculate plausible and wonderful reasons why Mabel was here, but the bottom line was:

God created Mabel for love in the world.

to love...

to be loved...

to share love...

to offer love...

And that was Mabel, a living example of the grace and mercy of God, a wonderful gift of love.

Thank You, God, for the gift of Mabel.

Thank you, Mabel, for sharing God's gift of love with us,

now and forevermore, Amen.

(July, 1996)

My Very First Funeral Message (1995), Her Name was Marie

Marie's Funeral Message

Marie's Bible Verse:  Psalm 25: 1-7
"To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul; 
In You I trust, O my God.
Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me.
No one whose hope is in You will ever be put to shame...
Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths;
Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior,
and my hope is in You all day long.
Remember, O Lord, Your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.
Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways;
According to Your love remember me, for You are good, O Lord."

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.  Grace and peace.

When I meet a person, my first thought is a question..."How has God gifted and blessed this person?"  And, then a second question follows, "What can I learn about God from this person?"

When I first met Marie, I was immediately taken with her independence and her resolve to rise above physical limitations.  As we visited and I got to know more of Marie, it was obvious to me that this woman was one who God delighted in!  She enjoyed life.  She wasn't one to flinch from hardship or challenges.  She dug in and took part in life around her.  Cooking for the jail, having a family, attending sporting events, supporting community events, getting a pilot's license, traveling....all these accomplishments and more told me that she was a person who lived each day to the fullest.

Not every day was great for Marie.  Since her health failed, Marie withstood constant pain.  Her physical limitations were an every day reminder that life for Marie had changed.  Family was important, yet many were scattered and her life partner was gone.  Life was complicated.  Life wasn't easy.

And yet Marie continued.  She continued to do what she could.  She continued to live each day.  Some days were frustrating and she cried out to God for release.  And as I watched Marie, I learned that God's timing is often not our own.  I learned that God's plans will be fulfilled within His own time.  I also saw that God does not desert His people and that He did not desert or abandon Marie.

God was real to Marie.  I saw that.  Jesus said, "In this world you will have trials and tribulations, but be of good cheer!  I have overcome the world!" (John 16:33)  And truly Jesus has overcome the world!  And now, He has overcome the struggles of Marie and taken her to Himself.

My prayers are with the family of Marie.  My prayer is that our Risen Lord Jesus Christ will surround each member with His comfort and love....that Jesus will hold each securely in His arms where they can be held and carried with the surety of His continued care.

May our God continue to care for Marie.  May He also bless our memories and encourage us in our walk as we journey through this life,

Now and forevermore,
Amen.

(September 1995)

Beginning Again!

Well, it's been over a year since I posted my last blog.  And, even though I enjoy blogging (rambling on as it were,) I felt like I needed a little more structure, maybe a clearly defined purpose for committing to a blog.  

My ultimate goal is to lift up the gift of faith as received by Jesus, the Risen Lord and Savior, Who graciously and freely invites all to draw near and fellowship with Him.  He came not to condemn, but to create relationships and connections and bring about newness of life.  

It's all good.  Truly.  It is all good this life Jesus offers to one and all.  

As I reflected about His love and life, I realized how many times I have seen His love and His life in other people - especially the residents and staff at the nursing home that I served for 19 years as chaplain.   

Today, when I have an opportunity to encourage someone who is facing similar circumstances, such as caring for a loved one who is challenged with health issues or being given a diagnosis themselves of a disease or condition that is life changing, I feel that familiar tug of the Spirit that reminds me Jesus is present.  Jesus is near.  Jesus is an abiding God, not an abandoning god.  He isn't a "fair weather" Friend.  He is Emmanuel, God With Us.  Jesus is literally Good News!  

Now the question becomes how to share that Good News?  

My thoughts are drawn to the many funeral messages I had shared with families over my years of active chaplaincy.  At those times of being gathered to support and care for one another, I prayed to be able to deliver an uplifting message of comfort and hope even though we were saying goodbye to a loved one and in the throes of grief. 

Writing a funeral message was something new for me when I began ministering at the nursing home.  I began with great fear and trepidation.  In the beginning my knees literally shook as I presided over funeral and memorial services. It took about 100 times before I truly began to embrace fully this calling.  My knees were still shaky, but I began to develop a clear sense of end-of-life care and what is needed.

Simply put, what is needed at end of life is presence.  Being present to the one completing his or her life.  Being present to the family members.  Being present to the staff who continue to give care.  Being present to the community.  Holding a hand.  Saying a prayer.  Sharing a humorous memory.  Cooling a brow.  Helping to adjust a position.  Creating space for family and friends to say their goodbyes.  Saying the name of the person journeying on.  Remembering the life.  Celebrating the gift that they were in life and celebrating the gift they continue to be as they live in the memories of loved ones.

In all of that - remembering, celebrating, being present, caring, hoping, crying, grieving - Jesus remains constant.  Our abiding God does what He does best - He abides. 

So my decision now is to blog the many funeral messages that I shared with families over the 19 years of my active ministry.  I will be using first names only and editing the messages a bit so that I can stay true to the purpose of giving Glory to God for the life that was lived.  

My prayer is that you will find a way to relate to this person and the life that was lived, and more importantly, that you will see Jesus and hear His open invitation to draw near and know personally the love He has for you and the life He has come to freely give you.  

And, yup, it's good.  It is all good.

Reflecting on the Lord's Prayer

 The disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray and Jesus taught them the "Our Father" or what we often call The Lord's Prayer.  The petitions in the prayer are all encompassing and cover all of life.  

The petition "deliver us from evil.."  has always given me pause.  What is evil ?  

One definition of evil is "causing distress or harm."  Though we can make a good case against drugs, criminals and the boogey man, I  find that I am the biggest source of evil in my life.  I cause distress and harm to myself!  Yes, with ill chosen words and thoughtless deeds I manage quite nicely to create distress in my life.  

The Good News is that Jesus has come to bring transformation into my life!   He wants to work in my life and change ill chosen words to healthy, life-giving words and thoughtless deeds into deeds of thoughtfulness.  

To remind  me of this invitation to have Jesus live in my life, I have condensed the Lord's Prayer to this simple plea "Lord, deliver me from myself."  Short and sweet and sincere. 

The next time you pray the Lord's Prayer think about each petition and when you come to "but deliver us from evil," pause.  

Take that moment to confess and receive new life so " the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever and ever," can reign in your life, too.  

Amen, come Lord Jesus, Amen.

(Pictured below is the view from an open-air chapel called "Pretty Place" at a YMCA camp in South Carolina. www.campgreenville.org   Only 45 minutes from our North Carolina home.)

The Light of Christmas Eve, 2016

"In Him was life and that life was the Light of all people.  The Light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it."  (John 1:4-5)  

It was Christmas Eve 2016 at the First Congregational Church in Essex, Vermont.  Mark and I were attending the family service with our son Tony, daughter-in-law Laura and our two beautiful granddaughters, Betty (4 and three-quarters...as she will say) and Lily (2 1/2.)

It had been a busy day.  Mark and I were leaving on Christmas Day so Christmas Eve was the day to open presents, munch on goodies, read books, play with toys and savor every minute together.  The Family Service was at 5 pm designed especially for those with little kids.  The pews were filled to overflowing with moms and dads, grandparents and supportive parishioners and many, many kids of all ages and of every size.  The service was designed to be casual and interactive.  There were carols to sing and the pastors were dressed as storytellers to tell the Christmas story to the younger wiggling, wriggling congregational members.  It was joyous commotion.  Mark and I were very comfortable sitting in the back row taking it all in.

And as most Christmas Eve services go, whether 5 pm or midnight, it soon was time for the closing hymn - the ever popular and most holy of Christmas songs, "Silent Night" complete with the passing out of candles to be lit one by one as the sanctuary lights are systematically shut off.  The congregation is cast into darkness.  The wiggling, wriggling little ones freeze as if on cue looking about in wonderment.  What happened?  What's different?  What's going on?  What is going to happen next?  

Little necks crane to see over the pews.  Little ones snuggle up to moms and dads.  Heads swivel to and fro to make sense of the once brightly lit place now dark and different.  And there is silence.  Yes, silence.  All those loud whispers and chatty voices and crying babies are amazingly quieted..for a moment.  For a very short time.  Then our Lily announces in a crisp, clear voice for everyone to hear "It's dark!"

A wave of quiet chuckles ripples throughout the sanctuary as a ribbon of light begins to spread.  At the front of the darkened room one lit candle is shared.  Slowly and very carefully the candles up and down the pews are lit.  The flames begin to flicker and create dancing designs against the ceiling and the walls. Betty and Lily lean forward and then eagerly receive an unlit candle with an upside down plastic glass surrounding it.  Their faces are bright and expectant!   What is this?  What is next?

And then the light nears their pew.  Row after row has received the light and there is a nervous excitement permeating the very air!  As Tony holds Lily and Laura helps Betty, the girls receive the light.  Their candles are lit!  

The pianist softly plays a few introductory notes.  The singing begins 

"Silent Night, Holy Night, 

All is calm, all is bright...."

And it was.  It was just that.

Mark and I were so blessed to share this Christmas Eve with little girls that are growing into their gift of faith.  They are just little but they know when there is darkness and as they held their candles high, they know, too, what is light.  

"Radiant beams from Thy Holy Face.  With the dawn of redeeming Grace..."

Oh, the power of light.  The darkness is chased away.  The light brings the power of hope - hope that cannot be extinguished.  Hope that empowers, that enables, that grants dreams and wishes and prayers.  Hope that sustains and strengthens.  Hope that grows a faith with roots of great depth and branches of great reaching. 

"The people living in darkness have seen a great Light! (Isaiah 9:2, Matt 4:16)

"But you are a chosen people....that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of the darkness and into His marvelous Light!   Once you were no people.  Now you are God's people!"  (1 Peter 2:9)

"Jesus said, I am the Light of the world.  Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the Light of Life!"  (John 8:12) 

May the Light of Christmas be with you this new year.  May His redeeming Grace surround you and sustain you today and every day.